Archive for the ‘Change’ Category

Some People Change! Some Do Not:( Why? The Difference Is…

Monday, October 31st, 2011

                “Here’s to the strong; thanks to the brave.

                  Don’t give up hope, some people change.

                  Against all odds, against the grain;

                  Love finds a way, some people change.

     This song, by Montgomery Gentry, struck me while hearing it the other day.  One of the verses is about an angry racist father who sees the “light” and becomes a better man.  Another verse is about a woman who is an alcoholic, but changes and “throws the bottle down”.

     I’m in a “change” profession.  I believe that people can change. I am grateful every day to see the changes, big and small, in people who are “brave” enough to seek counseling assistance. Despite many obstacles, people can and do change for the better.

     One of my first experience in seeing dramatic change was when in my younger years I was living in the ghetto of Chicago’s west side and working with a gang called the Vice Lords.  The leader of Chicago’s largest gang was James “Caveman” Hobson.  He was abandoned as an infant, then lived in thirty two foster homes until he was sixteen.  Then he was homeless.  He was arrested sixty times.  Because of the efforts of a number of us church volunteers he “changed” his life around. With special dispensation from the Secretary of the Army he went to Vietnam.  He came back with two bronze medals and a medal of honor from Mayor Daley. A few years ago he was the cover story of the Chicago Tribune’s magazine section.   He now is giving back to Chicago’s youth as a park district supervisor. We still stay in touch. He is an inspiration. “Some people change, don’t give up hope”.

     As the song says, “some” people change.  Some do not. Those that are brave enough and ready to seek counseling will receive an evaluation and recommendations as to how the change can take place.  A skilled therapist facilitates this growthful change process. Anxiety, depression, addictions, dysfunctional marriages and families, etc… are typical areas capable of this transition process.

     A key factor in successful change is “hope”. (“Don’t give up hope”)  Hope is needed by both the client/patient and his or her support people.  You gotta believe, yet don’t be naïve.

     Hope needs to be based on reality.  Reality entails the commitment and capacity to change, a support system, and a competent therapist. Wishful thinking, co-dependency, half hearted efforts do not get it done.

     Change is possible, but only under certain conditions.  Make sure that they are there if you hope to change or want someone else to change.

     “Some people change, don’t give up hope”!

          “The unexamined life is not worth living”      Socrates