An important perspective of your life is the expectations that you have. Expectations vary over the course of your life from the earliest days of existence on through your last breath.
A newborn entering the world from what is usually a secure and nurturing existence in the womb expects safety and nurturance as life progresses. Safety and nurturance are basic needs to be met for you to be able to continue to grow into your full potential, physically, intellectually, and emotionally.
As you grow older your expectations/needs change depending on what age and situation exists. You have expectations about what kind of life you want to live and create going forward. Such expectations may be realistic or unrealistic based on a number of factors, including your objectivity and resources.
For the purpose of this writing, I will narrow down the full panoply of your life expectations to the ones you may have concerning your love life. What are your expectations for a romantic relationship that you have or hope to have in the future? In my practice I spend much counseling time helping individuals and couples to understand their conscious, or unconscious, expectations and assessing the degree to which they can be met in a particular relationship.
Expectation areas can vary widely. Some of the topic areas where expectations are met or unmet in certain life stages would be: finances, sex, health, fun and adventure, children/parenting, etc… You may be a person who may not have thought much consciously about your expectations, yet they may surface when you become aware that you are not happy because some expectation was not met. You may not have communicated this to your partner and thus it was not met.
The reason for this article is to encourage you, Respected Reader, to do your best to get in touch with your expectations of your partner and, to the extent possible, learn the expectations that your partner has for you. Communicate these expectations clearly to your partner and hear well the other person’s. Discuss in detail how you would assess whether an expectation is met or not. If met, hopefully you will compliment your partner. If expectations are not met, may you respectfully state your disappointment and work together to see that the expectation is clear, doable, and met. Perhaps some clarification is needed.
Know your expectations. Set them forth assertively. Hear well your partners. Clarify and compromise as needed. Then get on with the task of having your, and your partner’s, expectations met which greatly enhances the quality of life shared.
“The unexamined life is not worth living” Socrates