“We want men to understand us, to truly grasp why we are the way we are, and why we need the things we do.” This is the reason stated by Dr. Barbara DeAngelis, “love, sex, and relationship” author, on why she has written this book. She has written many books and is usually on the best seller lists. I would like to share some of her observations for your edification and/or debate.
One of the first observations Dr. DeAngelis makes is “that for most women love is a non stop reality – a consistent awareness while for men the experience of love is much more compartmentalized.” The “needs” that flow from this reality are such that women need to continually feel safe – connected- valued. It is incumbent for a man to understand the particular ways that his woman wants him to deliver. If these needs are met she will move into a more intimate connection with him.
Men, here’s how to make your woman feel SAFE. You are to be: 1) Consistent. 2) Reliable. 3) Inclusive. 4) Compassionate. 5) Reach out. 6) Communicate. 7) Confront issues. 8) Schedule time and plan. 9) Reassure.
Men, here’s how to make your woman feel CONNECTED. You are to offer: 1) Physical affection. 2) Communicate. 3) Share information. 4) Harmony. 5) Inclusion. 6) Reaching out. 7) Compliments. 8) Reassurance. 9) Schedule time and plans.
Men, here’s how to make your woman feel VALUED. You are to: 1) Pay attention to what’s going on with her. 2) Verbal appreciation. 3) Acting like a team. 4) Showing her you need her. 5) Asking her for input. 6) Making her a priority. 7) Respecting her time and concerns. 8) Showing interest in her life.
Dr. DeAngelis goes on to offer what she says are the “Seven Myths Men Believe About Women”. They are: 1) Women are never satisfied. 2) Women are high maintenance. 3) Women want to control men. 4) Women are jealous and possessive. 5) Women are too emotional.6) Women who appear to be strong and competent don’t’ need to be taken care of. 7) Women want to rob men of their freedom. I think Dr. DeAngelis has gone off the deep end on these “myths”. Every day I meet up with women, as well as men, who possess some, or many, of these very real characteristics.
Another interesting chapter in this book is Dr. DeAngelis describing symptoms of women who may be “love starved”. Her signs of women who are “love starved” are: 1) Irritable. 2) High strung and nervous. 3) Needy. 4) Chronically tired. 5) Eating poorly or too much. 6) Depressed. 7) Fanatically busy. 8) Sexually turned off and disinterested. 9) Emotionally distant. 10) Numbing herself with drugs or alcohol. I guess Dr. DeAngelis is saying love conquers/heals most all of women’s problems. May be some debate issues here!
Dr. DeAngelis does encourage women to do these things for men: 1) Be in a better mood. 2) Be calmer and less anxious. 3) Don’t nag or complain. 4) Be more fun. 5) Think your man is the best there is. 6) Have sex more than before.
There is much more about relationships, communication, and sexual enhancement in this book but that’s enough for now. I’ll conclude this article with Dr.DeAngelis’ comments on how to feed your partner’s heart.
ATTENTION AFFECTION APPRECIATION
“The unexamined life is not worth living” Socrates