While browsing at a bookstore recently a book jumped off the shelf at me. It whispered, “Use me for your next blog. Some of your readers are still struggling with forgiveness. I can help.” Understanding this to be a serendipitous call, I listened and the following is the result.
FORGIVING AND MOVING ON is a book by Tracy Dayton, Ph.D. It is a book of affirmations to aid those people who still hold grudges and anger in their heart and have trouble forgiving, letting go, and getting on with their lives. I have seen my share of those types in my practice over the years.
This is a wonderful little book, filled with a rationale as to why one needs to forgive and daily prescriptions on how to do that day by day. It is inspirational.
Dr. Dayton gets it! Let me quote this insightful woman therapist;
1. “To forgive and let go – to truly release the old resentment – fill us with a sense of freedom.”
2. “We forgive, if we are wise, not for the other person, but for ourselves … to relieve the residue of the wrong that is still alive within us.”
3. “We forgive because it is less painful than holding on to resentment.”
4. “Forgiveness does not necessarily mean acceptance or re-connection.” A boundary may be necessary for that person that hurt you.”
5. “When you let go of the past and move on it is a kind of maturation and growing up.”
Dr. Dayton says it is important for a person to recognize the need for this change. That holding on to anger and resentment in your heart is destructive to the core of your existence.
You may not be attuned to your inner angst. You may hold a grudge against another. Perhaps you have guilt for wrong things done by you to another. The double G’s – guilt and grudge – are insidious and sully the soul. Forgiveness of the other and of yourself are called upon for spiritual and psychological serenity. I once saw a word carving that said “Let go, let God”. Wise words indeed.
Let me close with one of Dr. Dayton’s affirmations:
“Today I recognize forgiveness as the quickest road to freedom and serenity. When I forgive my past I release myself from the grip that it has on my present. I no longer carry the heavy baggage around with me. It is difficult to live in peace if I am psychologically engaged in yesterday’s battles.”
May this article serve as a catalyst to look inside of yourself and see if you are still living in the past with your negative thoughts about yourself or another. May FORGIVING AND MOVING ON be a mantra for you every day of your life!