Insight of the week: communication between people, especially spouses, is challenging. Anybody disagree? And the most complex of all is when you say nothing – because you are saying something. Non verbal communication is most potent because the real message is subject to misinterpretation. Therefore, be very clear with what you don’t say. Make sense? Stay with me.
Non verbal communication can be positive and effective or negative and destructive. Better be sure which form you use.
A sampling of some negative-destructive communication would include:
1. Roll of the eyes.
3. Smug look.
4. Shake of the head.
5. Tongue stick out (that’s really cheesy).
7. Back turn.
8. Walk away.
9. Your IQ finger pointed upward.
Do you or someone important to you use any of these non-verbals?
Needless to say this blog attempts to encourage the positive and eliminate the negative. Have you heard the song “When you say nothing at all” by Allison Krauss? Some of the lyrics include:
“It’s amazing how you can speak to my heart.
Without saying a word you can light up the dark.
Try as I may I could never explain
What I hear when you don’t say a thing.
The smile on your face lets me know that you need me.
There’s a truth in your eyes sayin’you’ll never leave me.
The touch of your hand says you’ll catch me if ever I fall.
You say it best when you say nothing at all.”
May I suggest some positive non verbal messages:
1. Loving eyes
2. Warm look
5. Tender touch
6. Welcoming body
7. Enthusiastic greeting
8. A cuddle
9. Sensual Embrace
10. Fabulous love making
11. You add your own special positive non verbal
May you do your best to convey a positive message with your non verbal communication style. It may be helpful to ask the other person what s/he receives from you when you are not saying anything. Attunement and congruent non verbal communication make for a productive connection!
“The unexamined life is not worth living” Socrates