“He’s just not that into you” is the title of a best selling book a couple of years ago. The topic deserves to be continually discussed by women across the land, both single and married.
It may be surprising to some that a book like this, which purports to help the female sex realize that the male that they are interested in may not be in a reciprocal mode, has been so popular. It is not surprising to me, however. Over the years one of my favorite, although painful, tasks has been to help women see the reality of their relationship with a man that means a lot to them. Women often need some objectivity to know what the man is thinking.
Too many women see what they want to see. If troubled at all they seek advice from their women friends (wrong choice!). These “friends” usually tell the anxious one what she wants to hear under the guise of support. (Men usually are more honest – often brutally).
Many Single women waste some of their most “marketable” years hanging on to a relationship that has no future. Over and over these women rue their lack of earlier decision-making while they naively waited for their dream relationship to develop. It did not happen. These women fail to realize that they are “convenient” companions for men while they enjoy “the good life” – not anxious to settle down and marry. Once they do decide to marry, men usually marry someone else – often after a short courtship!
While clinging to a ”going no place” relationship women accept/believe lame excuses and odd ball explanations. Meanwhile time goes by, women are oblivious and deceived. Many of these women stayed in the wrong relationship too long.
Until men get near forty (mid life adjustment or crisis) men do not need/want a woman in their life as much as women need/want a man in their life. This all begins during puberty. Girls in our society spend most of their time talking about boys. This begins at twelve or thirteen at which time they call boys incessantly and often offer to
”please” them in ways that are not appropriate. Boys in their teens, on the other hand, do not talk about girls very much except to brag about what they “got off” a girl or what a
”ho” someone is. Women’s Lib and Feminism have had little impact on the obessionary side of girls.
“He’s just not that into you” needs to be recognized sooner rather than later for girls and women so that they will have minimal pain and less “lost” years. Hopefully neither you nor your daughter is in this situation. Maybe you have a friend that is. Within two sessions I am able to tell a woman/girl whether the relationship is solid or not. I also help them develop strategies, time lines, and expectations to help them assess their relationship. Women need to spend less time in bad relationships and find out sooner rather than later if this chap is a “keeper” or if the relationship can evolve into something beautiful and enduring.