“10 Habits Of People In The Happiest Relationships” Are These Yours?

Do you happen to remember the song “If you want to be happy for the rest of your life”?  It says to marry a wife (I won’t say what kind the lyrics suggest). People that are the happiest, and live the longest, are married people. A caveat to that would suggest those in a good marriage. Thus, they are “happy”. So if you want to be happy in your marriage you need to do certain things. You create consistent habits that make each other feel loved, trusted, and respected. Author, Kelsey Borresen, surveyed relationship experts asking them what such habits are that lead to “happy relationships”. I share them, along with my own embellishment, for your edification.

  1. THEY ALWAYS KISS THEIR SPOUSE HELLO AND GOODBYE: Yes, that is right. Consistent pecking, smooching, lustful kissing (depending on timing, intent, etc… ) allow for a connection each day – even if briefly. (Try to kiss your spouse when you are angry and disconnected. Good luck with that!
  2. THEY ARE GENEROUS WITH COMPLIMENTS: Everyone needs compliments, especially from their partner. Pay attention and notice something superficial or profound on a consistent basis and offer the positive compliment.
  3. THEY DISAGREE AT TIME, BUT THEY FIGHT FAIR: It is normal to disagree but how you do it is the key. You need to respect the difference of opinion and work to find common ground using good communication and conflict resolution skills. Do not talk over each other, swear, call names, etc… .
  4. THEY FOCUS ON THE THINGS THEY LIKE ABOUT THEIR PARTNER, RATHER THAN THE THINGS THEY DON’T: Nobody is perfect. You aren’t. Your spouse isn’t. If you have bought into a relationship help make it grow by focusing on the good qualities of your partner. By doing this positive thing you will create a deeper bond and, perhaps help the other shed some of the things that you struggle to accept in the other. Good helps cancel out bad.
  5. THEY ENGAGE IN A LITTLE PDA: Overt affection, within the boundaries of good taste, especially in public, is endearing and connecting. Loving touch is a basic human need. Timing and style are important here.
  6. THEY DON’T EXPECT THEIR PARTNER TO READ THEIR MIND; THEY ASK FOR WHAT THEY NEED: Partners are encouraged to know their needs and express them. Also, a loving partner asks the other what his or her needs are – listens well, and does his or her best to see that such a reasonable need is met.
  7. THEY SET ASIDE TIME TO RECONNECT AND MAKE IT A PRIORITY: Happy couples are able to make the relationship a priority. Good time management of this priority is important because there usually are other important, or perhaps unimportant, factors calling for attention.
  8. THEY LAUGH TOGETHER – OFTEN: Laughter is a very important component of couple connection. Find a way to have it infiltrate your relationship.
  9. THEY DISCUSS THEIR FINANCES: Touchy subject often. Spending and saving styles don’t always match up with couples. It is one of the top three factors causing divorces. Regular discussion about income, expenditures, saving for retirement, etc… carried out by respectful communication leads to a financial team going forward united.
  10. THEY GIVE EACH OTHER THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT: This is a biggee. Try to assume that your partner is doing the best s/he can day by day. Some days are better than others. Focus on the positive. If you reach a frustration point about something communicate it in a non critical non accusatory manner.

Well, are you, Respected Reader, a partner in a “happy couple” relationship? Rate each of the above within a range of 1-10, with ten being the highest. Need improvement? Share this with your partner and get his or her perspective. No, you won’t?  Why not? Is that saying something?

“If you want to be happy for the rest of your life”!!

“The unexamined life is not worth living”   Socrates

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