I’ve written often about what women need from their husbands. Men are telling me that I don’t write enough about their needs. Thus, this writing springs forth. Assisting me with this effort is Brittany Wong who wrote an article, after doing her research on this topic, with the above listed headline. I will add my thoughts to her efforts.
- MEN WANT THEIR WIVES TO SAY “I LOVE YOU”: Don’t assume your husband knows how much you love him. You do, do you not? Express daily you love in words and actions.
- MEN WANT THEIR SPACE, ESPECIALLY AFTER AN ARGUMENT: A man usually needs more breaks from coupledom than a woman does. He needs to cool down, shut his mouth, process things before trying to again address the issue. But, he may not stay distanced for very long in pout mode.
- MEN WANT THEIR WIVES TO INITIATE SEX: Men want to feel wanted and sex is a special way of feeling wanted! Men are sensitive to being turned down because usually men want sex more often than women do. If the wife initiates the husband doesn’t have to deal with the angry/hurt feelings of rejection.
- MEN WANT TO BE HEARD: Women generally process and verbalize faster than men. While a man may be silent while reflecting on an issue the wife should remain quiet and give the man time to offer his thoughts. Men often feel that their wives don’t really care what they have to say or talk on over them.
- MEN WANT TO BE PRAISED, APPRECIATED AND VALIDATED: Men want their “attaboys” from a cheerleading wife for their efforts on behalf of her and the family, or just an individual accomplishment. Look for things to praise and thank him for doing.
- MEN WANT TO BE TOUCHED: Short casual touches, pecks on the lips, a quick hug all help a man feel desired and connected to his wife. They say “I care” about you.
- MEN WANT TO BE RESPECTED: They want to be respected for who they are and how they act. They want their wife to be proud of them.
Certainly there are more things that particular husbands desire from their wives that Ms. Wong does not mention. A big one is trust. Trust at multiple levels. And there are others. Men feel free to jump in here and read this article to your wife if she is failing in any of these. And feel free to add to the list!
Okay, I have given men their due. After reading this I am again reminded of how in most cases that men and women want similar things. They may vary among people and at certain ages but a good marriage needs to contain the above factors. Why? Because they are basic human needs, building blocks, for two people to continue to grow in love.
I hope your marriage contains these elements. If not, work to develop them so that a good marriage continues and deepens. It’s worth it!
“The unexamined life is not worth living” Socrates